Engrish Mayhem | You Know Dam Right

by

You Kick My Dog [MSJedi]
Prank caller: Kerpal

“U Know Dam Right!”
Listen, Youtube


Notes: The prank call is mixed with clips from the free online game, Maple Story, a MMORPG developed by Wizet (Korea). This fantasy role-playing game has over 30+ million combined subscribers worldwide hailing from Asia, Europe, and US.(Gamestudy) As for the audio clip, the author is known only as Kerpal though many claim it’s the work of the Jerky Boys or Brandon Dicamillo (of CKY and Jackass). The prank call was originally taped in 1993, distributed 1994, then anonymously released on the net in 1995 (unverified timeline).

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Transcript

Daughter: Hello.
Kerpal: Hello, is Abtar there?
Daughter: Who?
Kerpal: Abtar.
Daughter: Can I ask who’s speaking please?
Kerpal: This is Kerpal.
Daughter: Who?
Kerpal: Kerpal.
Daughter: OK, one moment please.

[Daughter calls Abtar . . .]

Abtar: Hello.
Kerpal: Hello.
Abtar: Hi there.
Kerpal: Hi, I was just calling because I live down the street from you, and your daughter come to my house today and she kick my dog.
Abtar: Pardon?
Kerpal: Your daughter come to my house today,
Abtar: Uh huh
Kerpal: And she come on my property and then she kick my dog. And now my dog needs operation.
Abtar: She kicked your?
Kerpal: She kicked my dog!
Abtar: She kicked your dog?
Kerpal: Yes.
Abtar: Which daughter?
Kerpal: The one who just answered the phone

[Abtar checks with his daughter . . .]

Abtar: No.
Kerpal: What?
Abtar: No.
Kerpal: Yes she did. I saw her. And then I go to I saw her at your house. And, why did she do it?
Abtar: I don’t know. She didn’t said.
Kerpal: She did! She’s lying. She’s lying to you, f**king guy!
Abtar: Where, where from you speaking?
Kerpal: I am speaking from my house.
Abtar: Where you live?
Kerpal: Down the street from you.
Abtar: Huh?
Kerpal: You know where I live. My dog, she kicked it and now I’m going to f**k her!
Abtar: [mumbles]… ohhhh, you lie I dunno ..
Kerpal: Don’t lie, you f**king guy.
Abtar: Hey . why? Don’t talk like that!
Kerpal: F**k you! You know damn right what she do!
Abtar: Where do you live and who kicked your dog?
Kerpal: Your daughter kicked my dog.
Abtar: Which daughter?
Kerpal: YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT!!!…….[quietly]…. you bastard

[Mumbling in background, daughter comes back to phone]

Daughter: Hello.
Kerpal: Hello.
Daughter: Yeah?
Kerpal: Why you kick my dog?
Daughter: Hello, can I ask who’s speaking please?
Kerpal: You know damn right! It’s Kerpal. It’s Kerpal.
Daughter: Who’s Kerpal? We don’t know Kerpal.
Kerpal: Yes, you do. You kick my dog today.
Daughter: Dog?!
Kerpal: Dog!
Daughter: We don’t even… No one’s ever been at…
Kerpal: You don’t act stupid. You tell your Dad that I am going to sue him. He is going to go to jail.
Daughter: OK, where the hell do you live?
Kerpal: I live on your street.
Daughter: On my street?
Kerpal: You know!
Daughter: You say that one of us have kicked your dog?
Kerpal: Yes.
Daughter: Where abouts do you live?
Kerpal: You know damn right!!
Daughter: No, we do not know damn right! We don’t even know you.
Kerpal: [under breath] Yes you do.
Daughter: Why? Where the hell do you live?
Kerpal: [under breath] You don’t ask dumb question.
Daughter: Do you live on Marative?
Kerpal: No, you just shut up! You try to confuse! I am going to call the police, and then, you’re going to go to jail.
Daughter: You damn right call the police because we don’t know what the hell-
Kerpal: You do not tell me ‘damn right’. You do not swear at me [under breath] I am going to kill you.
Daughter: You’re going to kill us!?
Kerpal: No, not, I’m just kidding! You just tell your Dad that I am going to get my lawyer and he is going to rush you!
Daughter: [says to background] I don’t know who the hell he is. [back to Kerpal] OK, you just go ahead, okay, because we don’t know what the f**k you’re talking about.
Kerpal: You don’t ever tell me to ‘f**k’! You say bad word!
Daughter: Well you talk to us this way when you have no proof . . .
Kerpal: F**k you, you, you do not tell me f**k you! OK you? You know!
Daughter: Please just get lost okay, because we’re fed up.
Kerpal: F**k you. You are going to jail.
Daughter: We don’t know who the hell you are and you’re phoning us with all these obscene-
Kerpal: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You shut up you!
Daughter:
Don’t tell me to shut up, I did not –
Kerpal: Shut up! You stink!
Daughter: Oh, you stink too!
Kerpal: No, you don’t –
Daughter: You stink too!
Kerpal: I do not stink!
Daughter: I think you do!
Kerpal: F**k you, just because I am paki doesn’t mean I stink!

[she hangs up]

Source: Bootstrike

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